Everyone seems to have taken sides when things happen (be it good or bad). For I know I've already done my best to make things better, it's hard I know but I have no control over what and how people start to think about me or the reasons behind my "hyprocries"...
I found my real friends - those who gave us their blessings, friends who only can remain by the word: Friend.
Yesterday, Venerable SL said : Good friends are friends who liften you spiritually and always be there for you...
I failed badly this time because I think I'm thinking way too much for people who doesn't deserve my attentions for no matter how hard I tried and hoping to make him feel better. I know this shouldn't be the issue for me or anyone else to be involved and neither I should be ranting it here... However, I really find it disturbing for me. I'm not trying to please anyone of who WE may know of, neither I want to talk about it anymore because I really have move on and this shouldn't be bothering me, really.
I do not quite agree that the reason for being affected is because I'm lingering any feelings for him (READS: BGR) and outta so many others. Perhaps it irks me whenever he start posting some EMO stuffs on his FB - Okay, i've hold no control over what he posted, just that whenever I enter FB, his status will somehow flash up right in front of my sight, and I feel bad about it. C'mon, why must he be doing all these to me! Why do this to make me feel as if I've dumped him or something... Nothing has happen between us and I'm sure we should already have mutual understandings that we can not be together. I know he has done his best but I just don't feel good whenever I thought about the few times that he 'scare' me. Fine, I'm not b*tching bad stuffs about him. Everyone is unique in their own ways.
There is no reason why he should be doing all the small, childish acts in front of me. It just makes me feel that whatever the decision I've made was right and thats all. It's not wrong to be upset that we can't be together. It's not wrong to like someone. I do believe that we can still be friends though it may take some time for him to 'recuperate', but for now, it just disgust me for every emo post he posted. I feel silly to keep repeating myself to Ruk to talk to him and make things better.
I dislike myself to be in this kinda sticky situation. He is OUR friend, Rak's coffee-partner... I hope not that their friendship will be jeopordized because of a relationship - Okay I know Rak will start his 101 reasonings to me... Sigh, maybe I shouldn't get involved. I shouldn't be asking Rak to talk to him - hey there's nothing to talk about, seriously.
Now I guess, Friends (whoever you know you are), if you want to take on his side, it's fine with me. If you think I did not end up with this gentleman, it's my loss or i'm sucha piece of whatever-name-you-wanna-name-me, it's okay and hope that makes y'all feel better.
This shall ends my guilt towards him and whichever direction the friendship heads, just let nature takes its own course... Whichever direction Rak-and-his friendship heads, it's between the guys.
If you want the reasons why it's not him, ask yourself, "Does it matters anymore?"If you want to know WHY (certainly many may want to know) did I choose Rak... Read on.
But for sure, Rak didn't appear when this gentleman is trying to win my heart. Even if it's not Rak, it will NEVER be this gentleman, that's for sure. (May the BEST man wins)
And if you happen to be the gentleman reading this post (you know who you are), I sincerely hope that you can pick up yourself and face the reality.
Now we know who are my real friends and of course, this case shall ends here and noone is to re-visit this case again.
*smile*
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